Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Flabby

So, my summer clothes are missing. Yes, all of them. I am assuming the box went to my mother's house when she moved. Otherwise, I cannot imagine what would have happened to them.... perhaps a band of roving theives broke in and after placating the dogs with treats (because, seriously, that's all it would take) stole my box of summer clothes thinking, my aren't these stylish.

Anyway, I digress. The problem I face now is the flab. I gained a total of 9 pounds during my pregnancy. (I'd like to thank 16-weeks of violent morning sickness and cravings for oranges and diet A&W root beer.) So, as I gave birth to a 7lb 8oz baby and lost various other fluids and bits and pieces, you would think I'd be a happy camper when it came to going to procure some new shorts. No, no. Show me that in a much smaller size, please! Um, or not. Nothing is where it used to be. I may be smaller, but I can't tell one bit. The flab...it's just hanging there. Shirts, I'm fine with. Though I could give Dolly Parton a run for her money. Pants? Where the heck is all that flab supposed to go?!?!?!?!? Why isn't it gone yet? Oh. That's probably due to my post childbirth diet of coffee cakes and frosted mini-wheats. (I've recently gotten back on track...) What a depressing shopping trip. I eventually found 2 pair of shorts. Yes, they're maternity. I'm so embarassed, but it was the only way to get shorts that weren't really, really big and baggy everywhere else to fit my flabby, nasty belly. The bonus: they still have that fabulous stretchy waistband! So comfy!

I suppose I should step back for a moment and give thanks for my flabby belly. After all, my flabby belly allowed Sadie to grow and be healthy and I suppose I could sort of look at my flabby belly and it's gorgeous streaky marks as battle scars (I fought pregnancy and won!), but...not so much. It's just....flabby. Ick. Good things it's Spring. Time to start walking again.

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