Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Being at peace with doneness...

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A LOT of thinking. I am so head over heels in LOVE with my little Sadie Bug. It brings to question, would I want more children? I can honestly say that I think I'm done. 99.9% of the time, I am completely at peace with this. I already miss that brand-new newborn stage. I know I will miss this baby stage. I am sure I will get the sweats from baby fever when Alycia and Missy add to their families (as they both want large families this is more than likely to happen sooner rather than later), but I really, really think Sadie is it for us.

For those of you who knew me Pre-Sadie know that I had serious apprehensions about becoming a mother and when Sadie announced she was coming, I sorta flipped out. I have never been SO HAPPY to have been proven wrong about babies and motherhood. I am loving EVERY SINGLE, SOLITARY MOMENT of life with Sadie. She is amazing. Watching her discover the world is such an overwhelmingly fantastic feeling and just one little smile makes me melt into a puddle of goo. That being said, I feel no overhwlming urge to give her a sibling. I love her with everything in my heart. John and I give everything we have and everything we are to her. Which is not to say that people with more than one child don't, but they're able and I just don't know if I would be.

I had a student remark to me that since my first child was a girl that I now "HAVE to give John a boy." Um. Apparently they don't know me so well. I don't HAVE to do a damn thing! LOL! And, seriously, HE made Sadie a girl so if he wanted a boy so badly he should have given better orders to his little soldiers! But it was the automatic assumption that I would be having more children that sort of surprised me. And when I say that we're done, everyone says, 'you say that now...' Well, why can't I say it now and have it be true?

Can I say honestly that I will never have another baby? No. But I am at peace with an only child. She'll have cousins-a-plenty to play with. Besides, you can't outdo perfection and she is PERFECT. :)

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