Obsessive WebMD Symptom Syndrome.
I think there is something you should know. I have had virtually every disease known to man. Most of them are fatal. I know. You will miss me. I will miss you too. In fact, I'd bet I'd be able to diagnose myself with Obsessive WebMD Symptom Syndrome using WebMD. Their symptom checker has allowed me to prepare for my impending death several times. Runny nose, watery eyes, swollen lymphnodes? The common cold? Certainly not! Brain cancer. Pain in my shoulder, numbness in my hand? Perhaps a pinched nerve? Nope! I've had a stroke. Headache, nausea, light sensitivity? A migraine perhaps?? Alas, no. It's jock itch. How can I possibly get through my day knowing my promising life is coming to an abrupt and painful end?
In the end, it always turns out that my brain cancer miraculously cures itself after a week a rest and fluids. My stroke? Well, thankfully just a pop of my shoulder and the numbness disappears!! And, thank heavens, my jock itch clears up with just a couple doses of Immitrex. The aura is gone and my vomiting comes to an end.
I just can't help myself.
Here from Mama Kat's-I had two parents who had many illnesses...still hear about my mom's intestinal probs every day! But, I went the opposite way and don't get help for anything! YOu and I both have to find a safe middle ground!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! So funny.
ReplyDeleteTechnically speaking, you're a whack-a-doo. ;) :)
ReplyDeleteWeird! I get cancer once a month too! And it's always WebMD that diagnoses me.
ReplyDeleteThankfully God cures me every time.
We are a lucky bunch of girls!