Bon Voyage Dave and Shelly!!

HAVE A WONDERFUL TRIP!!!

My family

New Year's Resolutions

I feel like I should have made one. But really, would I keep it? Probably not. So perhaps I should just decide to "work on some things." That's not the same as requiring I keep some arbitrary promise, right?

So.....

I will try to work on my ruminating thoughts so I can sleep better and not be so tired all the time.

I will try to eat better and exercise more.

I will try to be more positive about things.

I will try to conquer my fear of open water. (But let's be serious...this isn't going to happen!)

I will try to be the best mother/wife/superperson I can be and maybe not try so hard to be the best mother/wife/superperson ever.

I will try to not let soul-crushing people have such a huge influence in my life.

I will do my best to keep the Sabbath and welcome her every Friday night by attending service or lighting candles at home. I shouldn't allow more trivial things to come between me and faith.

I will try to find another job. I will try not to get disappointed when I can't find one that is my dream job.

I will try to be less sullen when I have to compromise.

I will try to remember that the future is more important than a fabulous, full-filled vacation right now. (I'm having a hard time with this one...)

I will try to accept that the things that have happened, have happened and cannot be changed so I should spend less time worrying about them.

It's a good start.

Surprising fun facts about me!

I can't sleep so allow me to share with you some things you might not know about me. Yes, oh yes, I am anal. (Though, that part you probably knew already.)

(1) My pasta noodles have to boil for exactly 10 minutes. No more, no less.

(2) My hot chocolate must be made with one packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate with marshmallows (Yes, it has to be Swiss Miss with marshmallows and not some other cocoa) and exactly one cup (with a measuring cup!) of boiling hot water followed by a 'sploosh' of creamer. (A sploosh is an amount somewhere between a splash and a dollop...)

(3) I love oranges, but hate anything orange flavored...especially orange pop and orange Starburst.

(4) I cannot understand people who can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with both the peanut butter and the jelly on the same piece of bread and then place the dry piece of bread on top of them. You put peanut butter on one piece and jelly on the other piece and then put them together.

(5) I like instant oatmeal, but not regular oatmeal. It's the sugar.

(6) I passionately hate Skittles.

(7) I am allergic to apple juice, but not apples.

(8) I will not touch a public door handle or railing. I use my sleeve to cover my hand. This becomes problematic in the summer.

(9) I sometimes talk at the movies. But it's quiet!

(10) I did a study abroad in South America 11 years ago and speak virtually no Spanish now.

(11) I used to be a cross country runner and am now fat and lazy.

(12) My grooming routines are set in stone. If I don't complete them in the correct order, everything is off all day. Shower: Start the shower to warm up, get my toothbrush and get in the shower (yes, I brush my teeth in the shower), shampoo, body wash, face wash. Nightime: brush my teeth, floss, brush my teeth, mouthwash, wash my face, wash my face. (Yes, I realize I do both of these things twice.)

(13) Very often things are black and white and almost never allow for grey. (I'm working on it.)

(14) I hate peas, brussel sprouts, lima beans, bean sprouts and cooked carrots. Also, I feel guilty for eating meat.

And last but not least....

(15) I have many secret boyfriends. Among them are Colin Firth, Noah Wylie, Nathan Fillion (swoon!), and Stephen Colbert.

It's been a long December...

"And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass...." -Counting Crows, Long December

My 2009 was an emotional roller coaster. In reflection, the most obvious source of overwhelming joy was the birth of my beautiful daughter Sadie Jane. It would be easy to say this was the best year of my life. She brought such sunshine to my existence and such happiness to our home. However, as wonderful and amazing and perfect as this year was in so many regards, it was also one of the saddest years of my life. Though some of you will not understand my grief, I lost two of my best friends and constant companions. My Westie Bogey (Bogart!) and my cat Bunker died eight days apart in July and shortly after came "the crash." Whether it was postpartum depression or the overwhelming grief, or a combination of both, something in me fell apart and I found myself drifting and unable to overcome myself to save myself.

Now, at the beginning of 2010 (the year I turn thirty--ugh) I find myself cautiously optomistic about the future. I can't remember a year in recent memory that I have been able to say that. I feel like Sadie has had a positive effect on my outlook on life. I am looking forward to watching her grow up and discover things. I have wonderful, amazingly supportive friends. I have an incredible network of mommies that help me to realize I'm not doing everything wrong and it's likely my baby will grow up to be totally normal and not a serial killer. I have a job I may not love and a house that drives me mad, but it's a lot more than other people have and I am grateful. I have a husband I love more than I can describe and appreciate more than I could ever convey and I am truly blessed. I have faith there is something I will do in this life that will make a difference. Am I where I planned to be at this point in my life? No. But my path has not reached it's end.

"And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last. I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass...." -Counting Crows, Long December

It is safe to say that much of my life has a song. For whatever reason, this song has always had such a significant meaning to me and come the end of the year, every year, I think of it and realize that, regardless of how emotionally draining or tumultuous the year has been there's always a chance next year will be better. Who knew I would turn out to be a closet optimist?

Many wishes for a happy, healthy and blessed 2010.